A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

Friday 3 December 2010

PaveParker of the Week! SW51LVX

Spotted on the town centre's exciting, vibrant, recently re-developed Justice Mill Lane, MS Services Blue Transit Van SW51LVX is this week's snowy PaveParker of the Week!

Practising what he preaches: "BE SAFE" -  this Blue Van Man has been Police Checked giving him the confidence to do as he pleases. And o-boy-o-boy! He knows his stuff!

He knows that because there's a bit of slush in the gutter it effectively conceals the double-yellow lines, thus rendering them completely invalid. Our Blue Van Man is thus completely secure against getting a parking ticket. Be Safe!

He knows that this pavement has already been well PaveParked today - the snow still lying on the pavement shows the tyre-tracks of these confident trailblazers. The PaveParking precedent has been set on this street - it would be churlish to the point of ignorant negligence to ignore this important precedent. You wouldn't want to stand out from the crowd, now would you? You'd much rather Be Safe and blend in!

He knows that PaveParking is his best option in this situation. As a Locksmith/Joiner/Plumber he is clearly a very important pillar of the community, and so must keep his blue van pristine and safe from being maliciously scratched by passing cyclists who would obviously be envious of his elevated status. Much better to get that van out of harms way up on the pavement! Be Safe!

He knows that the pavements are far too wide for the very tiny insignificant handful of pedestrians who ever use them, and so by PaveParking he is sending a message to the council, through the two CCTV cameras which are in-shot, that they should dig up the pavement immediately, re-assigning this important carriageway space away from the road-tax-dodging pedestrians and designating it exclusively for important cars and vans. Let's hope that the officers who monitor the CCTV feeds take note! CCTV is, of course, a major plank of law enforcement in the town centre. Be Safe!

And finally, he demonstrates his commendable belt-and-braces approach to safety matters (Be Safe!) by flashing his hazard lights ("exemption indicators", as we like to call them) - thus demonstrating to any approaching traffic warden (who may be a young junior member of that mis-guided and ill-informed sect-like subculture of our society) that, knowing much better about this stuff than they could ever hope to do, he is EXEMPT, for all the reasons detailed above. And probably some others which he knows even more about than we do.

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