Valuable Lessons for Mother and Baby

A CitizenContribution arrives in the Aberdeen Cars inbox:

    From:     [citizencontributerali]@yahoo.co.uk
    Subject:     CityLink - Kings of the Road and Pavement
    To:     aberdeencars@gmail.com
   
Dear Mr Skidmark, 

Yesterday the wee boy Jimmy and I were out for a push in the pram going through Culter and we saw this most excellent example of The big green and yellow parcel machine pavement parking. 

As you can see there was not enough space for little jimmy's pram to push between the van and the pavement, I had a choice, push into the oncoming traffic or go through the BP/[Expensive]M&S forecourt.   I chose the latter but still no space - the driver of the blue van further put me in my place by verbally communicating to me, and everyone else in earshot, it was a garage and not a playgroup for fornicating.  He's correct but what's a mum to do?

As we returned I realised how small and insignificant us pedestrians - and pram pushers are.  Please can you use your website to thank City-Link for teaching us such an important lesson.

Yours
Alison (& the wee boy Jimmy)

 

Of course, what CitizenContributor Alison has failed to point out is that the Citylink van WR08JFA is not only teaching mother and baby a valuable lesson about what's expected of a yummy mummy in Aberdeen "City and Shire", but is also fouling the cycle lane, thus demonstrating that cyclists are simply not wanted here.

But, that aside, all this begs the question: Why was Citizen Contributor Alison pushing a baby about the place outside? We considered reporting this case to social services - surely any mother who truly cares about her child would be transporting wee Jimmy in a nice safe warm dry car, like any good mother would. But, reading between the lines, we can tell that CitizenContributor Alison is in the process of learning the error of her ways, and will (pretty soon we hope) join in with mainstream society and get herself a nice wee car to ferry little Jimmy about the place. In this way, not only will she no longer stand out as a pedestrian, but will at last contribute to the necessary economic growth which makes Aberdeen "City and Shire" the economic powerhouse which will pull the whole of UKplc out of recession.

PaveParker of the Week! Wannabe WVM in B&Q hire van BJ11FVN

It's been a few weeks, but at last the PaveParker of the Week is back! And, what's more, it's back in one of the "City and Shire's" favoured paveparking spots - Aberdeen's "historic" Holburn Street, just below the new-ish bridge on the Old Deeside Line former railway track path.

Yes, this week's PaveParker is a wannabe WVM. You see, it's not really his or her white van, it's on hourly hire from B&Q. But, this confers an advantage, for this wannabe WVM is not only demonstrating the gentle art of FULL PaveParking, but is also showing the advanced skill of PaveParkVertising too. Brilliant.

Also worthy of note is the fact that this clever PaveParker wannabe WVM has crossed the cycle lane, crossed the double-yellows and used the dropped kerb of the pedestrian refuge crossing to enable the PaveParking maneuver. Graduation to full WVM status cannot be far off!

PaveParker of the Week! BSM car WP11PWK

This week's PaveParker of the week also gets our new 'Corporate Franchise' Award. So, congratulations to the Corporate Franchise PaveParker of the Week driver of BSM Aberdeen Car WP11PWK.



We were particularly delighted that this car has been parked on the pavement in Aberdeen's historic Ruthrieston Road by a driving instructor. You see, cherished traditions are always and everywhere under threat, and we recently learned of such a threat...

At present, PaveParking is not particularly illegal, indeed the beauty of PaveParking, is, of course, that traffic wardens (or those busybody anti-motorist warriors - the "dreaded" community wardens) can't touch you for it: enforcement of footway parking being a police matter, under the “causing danger to other road users” and obstruction provisions of the Road Traffic Act (1988) and the Road Vehicles (Construction and Use) Regulations (1986). However, police usually take the view that they need to observe the vehicle being parked on the footway and then demonstrate that the driver had the intention to obstruct in order to be able to enforce the law. And so in practice it is rarely - if ever! - enforced. Yes, the police know that they've better things to do (like making sure that photographers know that society regards them as dangerous outsiders) than harassing hard-pressed motorists who're just parking cleverly.

PaveParking! It's clever, It's quick, it's convenient, it's free and it's not really all that illegal!

Or so we thought... back in the springtime we learned that Ross Finnie MSP had brought forward proposals for legislation (pdf) to 'regulate' parking on dropped kerbs and pavements. We were horrified to read this personal introduction by Finnie...

Unfortunately, cars parked across a dropped kerb or on a pavement are a common sight across Scotland. Far too many people just don’t realise the difficulty they cause people with mobility issues, especially wheelchair users and parents with pushchairs.

Many constituents have told me first hand of their frustration at not being able either to travel along the pavement freely due to a parked car or, in the case of wheelchair users, of their dismay at being unable to get off or on a pavement at a dropped kerb due to a parked car. For many an inappropriately parked car can be an irritation but for those who are wheelchair users, have mobility issues and have young children in pushchairs the situation is an unnecessary difficulty.

We think this is political correctness gone mad. So we were absolutely delighted when, come the election in May, the electorate punished Finnie for his lapse in judgement, and he lost his seat.

But - and here's the horror of it - we recently learned that Joe Fitzpatrick MSP is intending to bring the legislation forward. While we were horrified, we were not particularly surprised. Can it be a coincidence that this MSP, who wants to ban PaveParking is the representative for Dundee East? Can it be a coincidence that a representative of our artist-loving rival city is instrumental in attempting to ban a cherished feature of our way of life in Aberdeen? We know that, having missed out on the oil bonanza of the last 30 years, the Dundonians have an axe to grind and have a vested interest in seeing Aberdeen fail. That they should stoop so low as to try to interfere with our parking arrangements is disgusting and endangers the economic recovery.

PaveParking enhances traffic flow, and lots of flowing traffic on lots of busy roads means that lots of aspirational people in nice cars are going about their nationally-important business with alacrity generating economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire". That is the same economic growth which will pull the whole country out of recession, Aberdeen being the key economic powerhouse of the UK. So this proposed legislation from Dundee is anti-car, anti-Aberdeen and, therefore, anti-growth.




So all that's why we were delighted that the BSM driving instructor has placed her vehicle on the pavement - she's making a stand for Aberdeen against the anti-capitalist Dundonians and setting an example to her pupils: "Yes! - learner drivers - the pavements are for you too!"

After all, she is a driving instructor, not a walking instructor! And, judging by her girth, (not shown on photo) she gave up walking many many years ago - why walk when you've got a car? All valuable lessons to those she is teaching to drive (and park!) in Aberdeen.

We were so impressed by this display of PaveParking that we have e-mailed the BSM management to be sure that this instructor is specially singled out.

PaveParkers of the Week Special!

It's all going on on Queen's Road - Aberdeen's Royal Gateway to the West!

Yes indeed, this week, there are so many PaveParkers to choose from, that we've decided for the first time to issue a special award to a location. That location is the pavement on the north side of the carriageway of Queen's Road, between the junction with Sprinfield Road and the roundabout with Kings Gate. Congratulations to this section of Aberdeen Pavement!

Queen's Road is a very nice area, and so it's of paramount importance that only the right kind of people use this thoroughfare. That's why it's so infuriating that a cycle lane was forced upon the residents and businesses of this upmarket street (we think it was the interfering EU court of so-called "Human Rights" which made the council put it in.) Cyclists on their way to sign on, cyclists on their way to the student protest, cyclists on their way to the needle exchange.

We're sure that all sends a shiver down your spine. But take heart! The drivers of Aberdeen Cars and Vans are on the case to put this right, thank god. Here we see a variety of PaveParkers employing a range of tactics. Let's take them one by one:

Yes, the driver of PaveParkVertising Aberdeen Van SX05DVN has employed our favourite tactic of rendering the bike lane unuseable. This allows us to self righteously and indignantly harumph about cyclists:

"I wish the feckers would cycle on the cycle paths that have been provided for them at a cost of millions!"

And...

"... then these freeloading cyclists don’t use them [cycle lanes], much preferring the ‘sharing’ of pavements with pedestrians!"

And so the trap is sprung on Aberdeen's Queen's Road, for further east, any pavement cyclists, who we have forced to eschew the cycle path which has been provided for them at a cost of millions are confronted with this:

Yes! Aberdeen's own unique weapon which prevents Queens Road look like the DSS-land or studentville that the poor cyclists make it seem - yes Full PaveParking has been employed to stop the cyclists using the pavements. It's genius!

Our congratulations go to the WVM driver of Aberdeen Vans SX05DVN and T536ASO. Congratulations to the driver of Aberdeen Car Chrysler 3.0 V6 CRD "Touring" (oooh!) with cherished plate reg BHS1B and its 3-litre engine. Yes, congratulations to them all three for showing what's really important in Aberdeen: The eradication of pedestrians and cyclists from our pavements and cycle lanes. We will not rest until this has been achieved.

The Fightback Begins. On Aberdeen's Queen's Road.

Regular readers will remember that last month we reported with fury and disbelief the upswing in recorded users of pedal cycles in Aberdeen "City and Shire". The truth these people avoid recognising is that most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people like cyclists expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists, who then don’t use them, much preferring the ‘sharing’ of pavements with pedestrians.

That's why today, we're very pleased to report that our call to arms has been heeded and that just earlier this morning, our very own rat-like double agent "Codename JannieJumbo" operating, as he does, from behind his deep cover legend as a so-called cycling "activist" left us this video in the dead-letterbox just behind the north east sponsors board on the Haudagain Roundabout.

In the video on this stretch between the Kings Gate roundabout and the Springfield Road junction, we see a variety of the drivers of Aberdeen Cars doing their very best to thwart "Codename JannieJumbo" as he tries to make progress towards the centre of the city on the main western approach from Westhill/Skene. At least two of the drivers of Aberdeen Cars attempt to force him off the road. Many of the drivers encroach upon the newly repainted Queen's Road cycle lane - demonstrating that we simply don't want our road taxes to be spent on so-called cycling infrastructure - so we'll just ignore it and demonstrate that cyclists just aren't wanted here. Also, so that a stop is put to cyclists 'sharing' the pavement, three white vans occupy the it (demonstrating that we don't much care for freeloading pedestrians either) . Pedestrians, cyclists... they're all the same - freeloaders and spongers the lot of them. They are not welcome in Aberdeen. We don't want their kind here. Why don't they just go away?



How nice it is in Aberdeen's west end - salubrious and welcoming to visitors, businesses, holidaymakers and residents all alike, as long as they're in a car or van. We're delighted to offer specific targeted praise to the following drivers of Aberdeen Cars who have helped to make it so:

1) For frightening the cyclist out of his wits with the really close pass - then encroaching the cycle lane - what skill!
Vauxhaul Astra Estate 1.4 Luxury S (oooh!) reg. P277SNM

2) For encroaching on the cycle lane:
Toyota Aygo VVTi reg. NJ60LSC

3) For occupying the cycle lane:
Hyundai Estate 2.2 CRDi "Santa Fe" (oooh!) Auto Premium (oooooh!) reg. G1GOK
The driver of this Aberdeen Car gets a special mention for demonstrating his 'Premium' status. Traffic lights mean very little to this busy individualist. why should he allow petty officialdom stupid rules like red lights stand in his way? He's busy! He's Important! He's 'Premium'! And so he's definately more capable of making up his own mind when it's safe to go or not than some automatic petty traffic control robot (the traffic lights). In any case, traffic lights should be advisory only, like speed limits, or parking restrictions already are in Aberdeen. It's great to see this busy hard-pressed motorist pushing this anti-nanny state agenda in Aberdeen. And all the while discouraging cycling! Brilliant!

Unfortunately we can't make out the plates of the PaveParking White Van Men, but they know who they are, and they get our thumbs up. Particularly the driver of Aberdeen Van "Well Plastered" (hahahah, do you see what they did there?) who deserves praise for PaveParkVertising. Fantastic!

Essential Services - CHAP Construction SD05FCM

As everyone should know by now, the real estate and related construction sectors are the engine of economic growth, and Aberdeen "City and Shire" is the engine room. So we're very happy to report incontrovertible evidence of some activity in this vital sector. More to the point, we're delighted to note that this activity is being carried out with the style and aplomb which lays down a marker for the future. See CHAP construction's truck which we pictured on Aberdeen's Skene Terrace on Friday afternoon. Not only are these people building our way into the future, they're building the future the way it should be! Yes it's a bold vision of a future with no pedestrians at all. And no parking restrictions either.

See how the CHAP truck completely blocks the so-called "pedestrian footway" and forces the hapless foot-travellers onto the carriageway (for pedestrians are not economically active like what the builders are and, therefore, about these people we care not one jot). See how the truck does "The Double-Yellow Straddle" (for entrepreneurship is far and away more important than traffic regulations). Yes indeed.

Unfortunately, something which our photo cannot demonstrate is the sarcastic mockery which these builders were offering to the pestestrians who they'd forced to step out onto the road and who had the temerity to complain about the danger they've been put in on the afternoon of Friday 10th June 2011.

A quick look at CHAP Construction's website: "Raising the Standard" tells us more about these exemplary anti-pedestrian pro-economic-growth entrepreneurs and their devil-may-care certainty in their own rectitude. The website refers to CHAP's "core values": their "inspiring heritage" and their "can-do approach". That's why we feel we should offer the drivers of their truck reg. SD05FCM all the praise we can. With their exemplary display of PaveParking, PaveParkVertising, Double-Yellow Straddling and their mocking abuse of underclass pestestrians we feel that they are upholding CHAP Construction "core values". Indeed there can be no doubt that these employees of CHAP Construction are "Raising the Standard" on the roads of Aberdeen "City and Shire".

That's why we've contacted the management of CHAP Construction, suggesting that the guys who were in charge of this vehicle on Friday afternoon be singled out for special mention.

Essential Services - Eriks Industrial Distribution van YK59UJL

Eriks Industrial Distribution van YK59UJL demonstrates that PaveParkVertising is a subtle matter. Look carefully at the photo - the WVM in charge of Erik's vehicle has poised primly on the pavement at the bottom Aberdeen's Grey Street, at its junction with Holburn Street. Two wheels up on the kerb - just because!

"Know-how makes the difference"

Indeed, Erik's has the "know how" to PaveParkVertise. Impressive

We had a look at Erik's website:

Why not ask ERIKS to undertake a Needs Analysis Survey to identify your potential and prioritise your opportunities? Then ERIKS can help you achieve your objectives and realise your advantage.

We might just do that.

PaveParker of the Week! Wrights Catering YY05HFW

Congratulations to this week's PaveParker of the week, spotted outside the wee shoppie on the corner of Aberdeen's Broomhill Road and Balmoral Place.


Full PaveParking, PaveParkvertising. It's all pure PaveParking magic from Wrights Catering as they use the dropped kerb and pedestrian build-out at the junction to facilitate this highly accomplished anti-pedestrian maneuver.

Check out their delivery terms at www.wrightscatering.co.uk - they offer a free office delivery service, catering to the needs of the busy cubicle-bound drivers of Aberdeen Cars as they desk-dine their way to finding a way to hopfully trying to create some ideas which will generate some much-needed economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Judging by how many of the flatted properties around the area pictured are "to let" it looks like economic growth is really very much required! If Wright's Catering and the like continue with their economic-growth generating motoring activities, we'll surely see those "to let" signs turning back into "for sale" signs soon! Here's hoping!


So we thank Wright's Catering - we thank them for supporting the drivers of Aberdeen Cars in their quest for an economic future, and we thank them for their pro-property anti-pedestrian activities in the west end of town. This sends out all the right messages and demonstrates that Aberdeen is one city which really knows where it's going.

Essential Services - Granite City Fish Co. Ltd Y59TGG

It's great to see some old traditions still flourishing - in this case, fresh fish delivered to your door, via the pavement of Deemount Road, at its corner with Deemount Gardens in Aberdeen's sought-after and popular Ferryhill area. And it's also great to see the old traditions blending with the new - PaveParkVertising, of course!


Of course, fishmongering(?) is a demanding discipline, requiring ultra-high standards of cleanliness and hygiene, so we're sure that the nasty corrosion and filth which is evident on the rear doors of the van are not replicated on the inside, where the food is kept.

Essential Services - Initial.co.uk - Reg. HX09HBU

The human tides which inhabit the HMO's of Aberdeen's Broomhill Road are a constant source of trouble to their entrepreneurial landlords. Often, the problems are of a nature which we would prefer to draw a tasteful veil around!

Initial "Washroom Services"

Suffice it to say that we've seen "Inital Washroom Services" reg HX09HBU around a few times, clearly dealing with an urgent toilet emergency of some kind, as the driver of this Aberdeen Van has been present-minded enough to use the pedestrian build-out "demand-responsive" emergency parking area outside the HMO in question as he goes about his "business". It's also a nice piece of PaveParkVertising which directs us towards the Initial website at www.initial.co.uk - nice one!

"Inital Care is Everywhere!" (as they used to say)
and, they should add, "At Any Time"

The very model of "Corporate Social Responsibility":

Everyone at Initial, from onsite personnel to senior management in the boardroom, demonstrates a firm commitment to Corporate Social Responsibility by putting our good practice guidelines into action on a daily basis.

Essential Services - Richard Irvine Building Services.

Now that winter's nearly over, it's time to get all those bits and pieces of building maintenance done. So builders, roofers and the like are rushed off their feet, busy dotting around Aberdeen "City and Shire" in their little vans, creating some much needed economic growth.

And, into the bargain, the drivers of Richard Irvine's little red vans aren't averse to pushing home the essential anti-pestestrian message as they go about their business. PaveParkVertising on Broomhill Road puts the pestestrians in their place, while promoting your employer's business. A dual-use strategy! Brilliant!

We spotted this next Richard Irvine Building Services Van on Aberdeen's Cattofield Place, where it joins Back Hilton Road, just across from the Hilton Chipper.

We actually watched aghast as the driver parked on the corner, blocking the dropped kerb and restricting pestestrian access to the junction as he dashed across the road for a lunchtime "chip supper" (these builder types have to keep their strength up!). 

But yes we were horrified. Horrified because he has parked on double yellows and he forgot to flash his hazards "exempts".

This is all very disappointing because, according to Richard Irvine's website:

Seamlessly linked together, divisional synergy optimises our ability to offer a wide range of customised packages to meet clients precise demands. Uniquely delivered and controlled from a single source, our multi-disciplined resources combine to produce a dedicated client service that allows strategic objectives to be timeously achieved.

What with all that strategically optimised synergy and uniquely seamless resources, you'd have thought that the driver would have remembered to do deliver the job with proper dedication and switch on his "exempts". We have informed his employers of this lapse. Timeously. 

Essential Services - Dogsbuddyaberdeen.com

One of the services offered by Dogsbuddy Aberdeen, in addition to "dog walker" and "pet sitter" is "fun agility". We can tell this because they are "PaveParkVertising" their services on Aberdeen's Gordondale Road. Just as well, because they haven't gotten round to finishing off their website yet.



Certainly the pestestrian who must angle and squeeze past the Dogsbuddy van with the Cherished Plate reg. K9 PXL (see what they've done there?) is forced to demonstrate "agility". Whether or not the pestestrian thinks this is "fun" we cannot say. The minds of these people are a mystery to us - we cannot understand why they don't just get a car. Like everyone else in Aberdeen "City and Shire".

Queen's Road Parking Lane - A "Record Breaker"!

They say you need "dedication" if you "wanna be a Record Breaker".

Recently, one of the contributers to mothership and inspiration "Bristol Traffic" contacted us and threw down the gauntlet by drawing our attention to one of their posts: "Stokes Croft World Record Attempt". Their post shows 6 (six) cars making good used of a cycle parking lane in Bristol. We were impressed.

But not wanting to appear weak at the time, we scoffed, and said that the innovatively important drivers of Aberdeen Cars would show the necessary dedication to surmount the marker laid down by their colleagues in Bristol. After all, the oil-drilling drivers of Aberdeen Cars are engaged in Work Of National Importance. We asserted that the pioneering paveparkers of Aberdeen Cars would pull off what we call "The Triple" - Cycle Lane, Double Yellows AND paveparking. We boasted that these Bristolian amateurs have got a lot to learn from their hard-as-nails northern cousins in the Oil Capital of Europe, who know a thing or two about economic growth.

And so we were absolutely delighted to be proven right. Here on Aberdeen's upscale, aspirational Queen's Road as it rounds the Hill of Rubislaw, 10 (ten), yes 10 (ten) drivers of Aberdeen Cars have shown their dedication to the one true transport mode by making best possible use of the cycle parking lane.



Not only that, the driver of lead vehicle, an "Essential Services" white van reg SE03ZJX from property bubble boom speculation investment company "Platinum Villa" has done as we always said the drivers of Aberdeen Cars could: Yes, he has "pulled off The Triple". Cycle lane, double yellows and pavement.

Actually, he also earns extra credit for PaveParkVertising and parking close to a fire hydrant. O the dedication!



We feel an almost paternal sense of pride.

Essential Services - SP58YNL

As everyone knows, White Van Man (WVM) is truly the Atlas upon who's shoulders our hopes for economic growth rest. And speaking of rest, this WVM is taking a little well-deserved time out to eat a sandwich and read his newspaper of choice. Le Figaro, it is we think. Probably


Now, in these pressing economic times, we are reminded of Gordon Gekko's famous eighties exhortation: "Lunch is for wimps!". This means, of course, that if the future of economic growth rests on your shoulders, you must not take any time out, ever. So what's going on here? Why is WVM lollygagging around, while the future affluence of Aberdeen "City and Shire" is in jeopardy?

But, don't worry, everything's OK. A little circumspection shows, this WVM is multi-tasking. While enjoying his snack and intellectual stimulation, he has also PaveParked his white van reg. SP58YNL to the fullest possible extent in this location in Aberdeen's Willowbank Mews. This promotes efficient traffic flow, which is the fountainhead of economic growth and prosperity. It also discourages non-contributing pestestrians from venturing out into the urban realm.



Not only that, but his GPH Builder's Merchant sack is also multi-tasking: Firstly it is promoting the company GPH Builder's Merchant (sort-of PaveParkVertising), and secondly it is blocking the dropped kerb. This sends a very important message to wheelchair users, mobility scooter riders, the elderly and to mothers with buggies: you are not economically active, stay indoors, we don't want to see you - leave the outside world to important people. Note that WVM also flashes his hazards (or "exempts") to draw the attention of the economically inactive to this indispensable lesson and his valuable example.

Who'd have thought that WVM could achieve so much while sitting still?!

Essential Services - Drain Surgeon SP09XJL

Most drivers of Aberdeen Cars are High Net Value entrepreneurs of some type or another, and one great way to make extra unearned income is via Buy-to-Let (BTL), which has proven very popular in the city during our Long Boom. 

You just buy a tenement flat, ram in some room dividers then cram it full (B&Q sell triple-bunk beds) of students, nurses, care-workers, immigrant waiters, young professionals priced out of property ownership etc etc. You get the idea. House of Multiple Occupancy (HMO) landlord licenses go through on the nod; they never bother checking on the adequacy of water supply, drainage, ventilation etc. And, indeed, nor should they: "Let the Market Decide!" That's our rallying cry.

So, there's nothing worse than when your ungrateful HMO tenants block the toilet with their egregiously over-ample excretions or inappropriately disposed-of ladies' items. Honestly, can't these people wait until they're at work or uni and use the toilet there? Rather that than incur wear and tear and damage on our HMO Buy-to-Let entrepreneur's capital. So inconsiderate.

It's just as well that the pavements in Aberdeen's West End (where the preponderance of HMO's are located) are wide enough to accommodate the Essential Services "Drain Surgeon" van reg. SP09XJL, so often is he summoned to relive the pressure at this HMO.

We are impressed by the "Drain Surgeon"s entrepreneurial flair. Not only is he making the best of this prime opportunity for PaveParkVertising but also he is potentially creating extra business for himself by weight-loading the soil and run-off drain pipes which run under where he has PaveParked his van. Clever.

We also like the name "Drain Surgeon". (Do you see what they've done there?) But nothing, of course, can compete with this famous cherished plate from the same sector:

Essential Services - BT Openreach FG54CHV

We're delighted that Aberdeen Lochnagar Exchange is doing so well in BT's "Race to Infinity"! At the time of writing, with 17 days left to go, 1.71% (193 votes) of the total votes have been cast for the main exchange in Aberdeen to be upgraded to superfast fibre-optic broadband. Only 11,093 more votes needed and the "Oil Capital of Europe" might get the chance to enjoy connection speeds almost as good as most places in continental Europe!



We reckon that once the fibre-optic broadband is installed, you won't even need to go out of the house, ever, for any reason; not to go to work, not to go to the shops, not to go to pubs or nightclubs or concerts or anything like that ever again. We'll live in a utopian sci-fi world of complete fibre-optic participation and delivery. It'll be like that that bit in Logan's Run when Jenny Agutter pops out of the wall on "circuit". I bet it'll be just like that. We'll still want to use our cars, of course, for leisure purposes; we'll want to go out gunning the engine and aggressively burning rubber and running red lights when teasing Agguter turns us down like she did to Logan in the film.

In the meantime, preparation work for this utopian future continues apace and, as these engineers show during some "Essential Service" work in Aberdeen's ever-popular Ferryhill area, it's easy to get used to the idea of never walking around ever again.

Yes, these BT OpenReach engineers who arrived in their Ford Transit FG54CHV, PaveParkVertising the BT OpenReach fibre future, certainly didn't expect anyone on Ferryhill's Fonthill Terrace to be using the pavements! Why would they?

PaveParkVertising!

The drivers of Aberdeen Cars once again show their business acumen and entrepreneurial flair; a talent which might even be good enough for TV's "The Apprentice"!

This time, we're delighted to announce a new development. Yes.

        "PaveParkVertising" 

(Though we are a bit worried that it might be a portmanteau too far.)

The driver of VW Golf 1.4s with Cherished Plate NEZ555 has not only used the PaveParking opportunity afforded by the build-out at the junction between Aberdeen's Pitstruan Place and Broomhill Road, but he has also enhanced his status in the community by taking the chance to promote his enterprise: "3SIXTY - Aberdeen's Premier Student Night". We think that's splendid and we particularly enjoy the use of the word "Premier". How could we expect anything less? As you can see, the club's website rightly acclaims its management as "VIP's" and in some cases even "VVIP's"

We also very much appreciate that our hard-pressed students are being offered drinks from only 90p. In these difficult times, it's great to see that they are being targeted in this way, what with this PaveParkVertising car stationed on the pavement just outside a famous local HMO which is used as a flophouse for students. We've noticed the PaveParkVertising car here before at least once, so we reckon there must be a connection between it and the hard-drinking student occupants of the HMO. We're delighted that there's this business-friendly relationship between student accommodation and the licenced trade, particularly where there's discounted drink on offer, and we'll be sure to mention it on our stakeholder submission next year when the HMO licence comes up for renewal in the neighbourhood.

You see, integrated business opportunities like this are like gold-dust, and must be highlighted so that the next generation of entrepreneurs can find economic activity in and for Aberdeen when the oil runs out in 2014. What with the new city bypass, urban dual-carriageway and city-centre carpark plans and everything, combined with this PaveParkVertising of cheap drink, the future will be assured!

Oh, and we nearly forgot. The way the car is PaveParked, at that jaunty angle, is really cool. Fact.

At a charismatic and jaunty angle.
It's like as if it's in a car-sales brochure or TV advert or something.