A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.
Showing posts with label Great Southern Road. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Great Southern Road. Show all posts

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

A Tribute to The Designers of Aberdeen's Cycle Facilities

More video from 'Codename JannieJumbo', our deep-cover double-agent who slithers his sniping and snitching way around the so called 'pro-cycling advocacy movement' in Aberdeen.

This time, JannieJumbo has exposed that source of great rage for the hard-pressed tax-farmed drivers of Aberdeen Cars - yes, dedicated cycling infrastructure.

Now let's be fair to the poor cyclits who, of course, cannot afford nice cars like ours. Apparently there are these things called "Dual Use Paths" which allow the cyclits to actually use the pavements, thus getting them out of the way of the much busier and important tax-paying motorist. Great!

Ah, but these "Dual Use Paths" need these expensive things (which we pay for out of our Road Taxes) called "Toucan Crossings", which the cyclists must use as if they were pestestrians, pushing the button and waiting for the green man. Only in this case they have to wait for a silly-green-man-on-a-bicycle thing.




Yes, as we see in the video, they have to stop, put their feet on the ground, take at least one hand off the handlebar, press the button and wait. And wait. And wait a bit more as the much more important motor-traffic goes past. This reminds the cyclist (who does not work, does not spend, is not economically active) that he is of no consequence. These people (if you can call them people; they do not after all have car insurance or a registration number) simply do not count.

So, we pay a tribute to the designers of Aberdeen's Dedicated Cycling Facilities! Not only do they suppress the cyclits by keeping them in their place - out of our way, off of our roads, and out of our minds. But also these facilites rub their noses in their inferior status by making them wait for us important tax-payers to pass as we speed our way onward to create some more much-needed economic growth! Brilliant!

Friday, 17 December 2010

PaveParking Promoted by Grampian Police

It's great to see our local constabulary taking advantage of the annual chance to get their vizog on the gogglebox during the Xmas anti-drink-driving campaign.

This year's Grampian Police poster boy is PC John McOuat, who can be seen here addressing the STV cameras at the police's blow-in-the-bag-please-sir PR demo on Aberdeen's Great Southern Road on Wednesday.


Click for a big copy of the pic.
Print it out and it'd be suitable for the mess wall at Lodge Walk
Can you see what he's done there? Yes, it's great to see power being devolved to the most local possible level; PC John, in defiance of the eco-warrior's charter which is the Scottish Government's Cycling Walking and Safer Streets strategy for sustainable transport, has parked his impressive 4x4 Land Rover Discovery reg SV59 BNU in its Hi-Vis Transport Police Livery right on the pavement of Great Southern Road.

This way, PC John manages to transmit both the once-a-year anti-drink-driving message as well as the year-round anti-pedestrian message. Never mind what the Highway Code says

SECTION 244
You MUST NOT park partially or wholly on the pavement in London, and should not do so elsewhere unless signs permit it. Parking on the pavement can obstruct and seriously inconvenience pedestrians, people in wheelchairs or with visual impairments and people with prams or pushchairs.
Yeah, whatever. 


You see, it's all very well for the politicians in their ivory tower at Holyrood and boffins at the Department of Transport setting these pie-in-the sky policies, but when it gets down to 'street level' the local police know best. Walking is simply unacceptable in Aberdeen. Thank heavens we have local agencies prepared to reinforce that message. Loud and Clear.



Vergeparking, too.