CitizenContribution - PaveParking at Pitfodels

A CitizenContribution from our suburbs today. "Kay" has clicked the link to our top-tips e-mail hotline (to the right) and drawn our attention to this excellent use of the redundant pavement on Craigton Road; that most favourite secret high-speed link between Airyhall and Cults, used regularly by drivers-in-the-know. The 30mph speed limit on Craigton Road is never enforced - thank goodness! So drivers are free to express themselves by approaching the thrilling switchback of "Jacobs Ladder" at high speed - just like Tiff Needell!

"Kay" writes:

The gentry of Woodlands of Pitfodels were obviously worried that they wouldn't get their cars out of their driveways. I'm sure they complained to the cooncil about the lack of ploughs on their cul-de-sac. I had to deal with the slush on the road but on reflection it is my own fault - I must be the poorest person living in this area as we only have one car and I have to walk to work. Perhaps I should move, I would hate to bring the area down.

This was last Friday but the cars have persisted all week.

Thanks

"Kay"

Thanks are due to you, "Kay". You've used your digital camera to capture two examples of advanced PaveParking.

First we see Beige VW Golf Diesel Hatchback reg. SL54YOR making full use of the pavement, as is their right. This causes the less important pedestrians (see the footprints?) to leave the pavement and walk on the carriageway. This is terrible. Let's hope these selfish pedestrians didn't disrupt the very important journey of some VIP motorist making his speedy way between Airyhall and Cults.

Why don't these pedestrians just get themselves a nice car. Like this one:

Silver Grey Mercedes Benz CLK Cabriolet 200K 'Elegance' (oooh!) with Cherished Plate X11DLB shows us yet another advanced aspect of PaveParking. Being the type of motor driven exclusively by aspirational top-management-class people, it is obviously subject to the envy and avarice of the lower classes, who might like to try and steal it. So, cleverly, the driver of this splendid silver-grey German auto has been sure to PavePark it just below a streetlamp. Clever! No wonder they're "Management Material"! They deserve that Cherished Plate.

PaveParker of the Week! LM04 ABK

Congratulations are due to this weeks exemplary PaveParker: Renault Laguna 1.8 16V Extreme [oooh!] 5dr, reg LM04 ABK.

When we spotted this display on the city's Airyhall Road, close to the new International School campus, we were almost overwhelmed.

The driver has demonstrated 5 (five!) advanced aspects of the gentle art of PaveParking. Wow!

1. Use of the dropped pavement in order to facilitate the PaveParking maneuver, easing intromission into position just behind the tree. Smooth!
2. Use of the tree as an auxillary front fender ensures that no other vehicle can possibly touch the front of this nice car. We all know that if anyone we don't know even touches a car that can render it less nice and thus speed up its depreciation. Additionally any impact carries a severe risk of explosion! We know this because we've seen it in the films. Scratches are just as bad. So, use of a tree to fend off collisions is to be commended. Secure! Safe!
3. Full PaveParking. The driver has succeeded in achieving the holy grail of advanced PaveParking and has placed all four wheels on the pavement, off of the carriageway and out of the way of the other busy important motorists who're busily and importantly going about their lawful business on Her Majesty's highway. Considerate!
4. Aberdeen's considerate motorists know that there are still some people in "Europe's Oil Capital" who've been left behind, who are less fortunate than ourselves and, because they are poor, have to walk everywhere. We see people walking about and it tugs at our heartstrings that they can't afford a nice car; why else would they be walking? Anyway, this considerate PaveParker has been sure to leave a 30cm gap between the car and the wall, so that poverty-stricken pedestrians can pass, without having to impinge onto the carriageway, or taxpayer lane as we call it. Charitable!
5. Finally, this PaveParker has 'flipped the wingmirror', thus further lessening any risk of a depreciation-inducing impact incident. We can see a tax-dodging cyclist further up the road, so the PaveParker has done especially well to anticipate the danger. If the paveparker had not 'flipped the wingmirror', the cyclist would have definately collided with it, causing egregious depreciation. Or worse! Some newer, nicer cars have motorised wingmirrors which flip up-at-the-touch-of-a-button. Gadgets are cool! Labour-saving motorised gadgets are double cool! This PaveParker is, therefore, by association, definitely, Super Cool!

So, smooth, secure, safe, considerate, charitable and super-cool, the PaveParking driver of Silver Grey Renault Laguna LM04 ABK is our PaveParker of the Week!

Congratulations! Yay!