Yes indeed, this week, there are so many PaveParkers to choose from, that we've decided for the first time to issue a special award to a location. That location is the pavement on the north side of the carriageway of Queen's Road, between the junction with Sprinfield Road and the roundabout with Kings Gate. Congratulations to this section of Aberdeen Pavement!
Queen's Road is a very nice area, and so it's of paramount importance that only the right kind of people use this thoroughfare. That's why it's so infuriating that a cycle lane was forced upon the residents and businesses of this upmarket street (we think it was the interfering EU court of so-called "Human Rights" which made the council put it in.) Cyclists on their way to sign on, cyclists on their way to the student protest, cyclists on their way to the needle exchange.
We're sure that all sends a shiver down your spine. But take heart! The drivers of Aberdeen Cars and Vans are on the case to put this right, thank god. Here we see a variety of PaveParkers employing a range of tactics. Let's take them one by one:
Yes, the driver of PaveParkVertising Aberdeen Van SX05DVN has employed our favourite tactic of rendering the bike lane unuseable. This allows us to self righteously and indignantly harumph about cyclists:
"I wish the feckers would cycle on the cycle paths that have been provided for them at a cost of millions!"And...
"... then these freeloading cyclists don’t use them [cycle lanes], much preferring the ‘sharing’ of pavements with pedestrians!"And so the trap is sprung on Aberdeen's Queen's Road, for further east, any pavement cyclists, who we have forced to eschew the cycle path which has been provided for them at a cost of millions are confronted with this:
Yes! Aberdeen's own unique weapon which prevents Queens Road look like the DSS-land or studentville that the poor cyclists make it seem - yes Full PaveParking has been employed to stop the cyclists using the pavements. It's genius!
Our congratulations go to the WVM driver of Aberdeen Vans SX05DVN and T536ASO. Congratulations to the driver of Aberdeen Car Chrysler 3.0 V6 CRD "Touring" (oooh!) with cherished plate reg BHS1B and its 3-litre engine. Yes, congratulations to them all three for showing what's really important in Aberdeen: The eradication of pedestrians and cyclists from our pavements and cycle lanes. We will not rest until this has been achieved.