A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

Monday, 27 June 2011

Pressure on Parking

Loving - as we do here at Aberdeen Cars - all things American, we very often read the New York Times for updates from 'across the pond'. So we were utterly horrified to read this article: "Europe Stifles Drivers in Favor of Alternatives" which details the cancer of "pedestrianization" which is creeping across continental Europe. Like us, the NYT adopts an incredulous tone in its reportage of some of the madcap antics of the Europeans:

...With politicians and most citizens still largely behind them, Zurich’s planners continue their traffic-taming quest...
The article cites a study "European Parking U-Turn Reaps Rewards", which details the growth of parking restrictions in the centres of some continental European cities and the way the way in which:

...European cities are reaping the rewards of innovative parking policies, including revitalized town centers; big reductions in car use; drops in air pollution and rising quality of urban life.
Well, thank goodness we don't have to put up with that sort of nonsense here in Aberdeen where extra new car-parking facilities in the city centre are rolled out on a continuous basis. For employees on their way to another vital day of spreadsheet-wrangling-of-national-importance in their tasteful cubicles, there's the company underground carpark. Recent developemnts at the IQ on Justice Mill Lane and Union Plaza on Union Row have seen the roll-out of well over a thousand of these employer-subsidised places, and we've noticed cheeky new underground carparks appearing on Diamond Street, Huntly Street, Langstane Place, underground Union Street (access from Union Row), Windmill Brae, The Green, Castlegate, Shiprow, Queen's Lane, John Street, Queen's Street, oh and probably other super-secret spots too. We particularly like the way that the lower-ground floor of the impressive Lloyds Register building on Union Terrace is now a car-park accessed from Diamond Street. You'd never tell from the listed Union Terrace frontage! Super-Secret!

But let's not forget about consumers! They are the source of all economic growth, and so must be coddled frictionlessly (and without going outside if at all possible) from their TV-lounge to shopping mall point-of-sale. Therefore, we're delighted to report that, since the opening of the Union Square shopping centre with it's extensive indoor multi-story parking facilities (1700 spaces - park all evening and night for just £1) there is an oversupply of covered-in consumer parking in central Aberdeen, with the variable matrix signs (strategic locations around the city centre) rarely showing less than 3000 spaces available to the all-important consumer.

We're proud and inspired that this policy of over-provision of parking space in the city centre is being pioneered here in Aberdeen - yes, that's the carrot, but we also like the stick. In order to encourage the good drivers of nice Aberdeen Cars to take those lovely cars all the way into the city centre and make use of all the high-quality new parking spaces, we note the spread of under-provision in some out-of-town shopping destinations.

For instance, at the Danestone Tesco, just take a look at these absurdly small spaces occupied by the driver of Aberdeen Car Range Rover V8 "Supercharged Autobiography" (oooooh!) reg SV60OBY, with it's 5 litre engine:

With thanks to citizen contributer "Iain" who hit the citizen contribution hot-link and emailed aberdeencars@gmail.com to provide us with this image. As "Iain" says:
An adept parking maneuver, cleverly taking up two spaces with a cheeky yet skilful diagonal placement. Perhaps an oblique (excuse the pun) comment on the absurdly small parking spaces that so-called planners are providing these days?
Yes, at first you might think this is a sinister anti-car policy. But we think that it's actually rather clever and subtle. We think that the planners know what they're doing here and that this is part of the strategy - we all want urban renewal, don't we? We all have our qualms about the growth of out-of-town shopping, isn't that so? By their provision of these absurdly small parking spaces, the town planners are looking to encourage the uptake of driving cars like these into the very heart of the city centre where there are plenty suitable parking spaces. Traffic flows in the centre of town demonstrate vibrancy and if the cars are really really nice, like this one, we can be proud to look on the busy roads of our town centre as demonstrating that ours is a city on the up-and-up. A city with "bustle". A city that's going somewhere, and knows where it's going - it's going shopping! Without wearing a coat!

More, more! Faster, faster!
That's why we look forward very much to the forthcoming City Square Project which, via the gift of comprehensive redevelopment, will contribute to the continuous improvement of the motoring environment in central Aberdeen by it's provision of several hundred new, high quality, secure, underground parking spaces in the space currently occupied by useless, hated, Union Terrace Gardens.

Some say that the gardens are not the problem, and that the Dual Carrageway should be 're-allocated' for pedestrian use, but we say: "What's wrong with you? Are you too poor to afford a nice car, then?".

If you own a nice Aberdeen Car and like driving it in the city centre; if you want to fight back against the sinister forces of roadspace re-allocation; if you just hate cyclists and pedestrians; or if you think that Global Warming is an EU conspiracy you should join our campaign to "Save the Denburn Dual Carriagway!" (Like us on FaceBook, follow us on Twitter)

No comments:

Post a Comment