Reckless Cyclist Forces Innocent Drivers to Break Law

Yet more footage from our sneaking snitchy double agent "Codename JanniJumbo". Reporting back from his mission in deep cover within Aberdeen's so-called "cycling advocacy community", he left us this video in the secret dead-letterbox buried deep in the peat at Moss of Rotten.



Gosh, did you see that? The reckless cyclist's behaviour on Bucksburn's Bankhead Road was so poor that it not only did it cause the driver of the Gold VW Golf reg SA02XPY to break the speed limit, swerve alarmingly and risk crashing into the pedestrian refuge island, but it also forced the driver of the second, high-revving blue car to risk penalty points and a fine by making him (as you've seen, forcing him to) ignore the keep left sign.

"But - hold on!" we hear you exclaim. "What was it that was so reckless about this cyclist's behaviour? - I've looked at the video, and the cyclist seems to have done nothing wrong..." And that's true up to a point, because what the video cannot show is the privileged information we have access to through our contact with "Codename JannieJumbo".

That information is the fact that this cyclist was not wearing a helmet at the time. (Thus absolving the blameless motorists of all liability for their actions.)

Poor Old Cyclists! Even Teenage Corsa-drivers Take the P155

As our agent provocateur double agent "codename JannieJumbo" lurks around town pretending to be a hippy vegetarian cycling activist, but secretly reporting back to us, occasionally his concealed camera captures some real gems of exemplary motorist behaviour.

In this clip, which he secreted in the dead-letterbox drop beneath the shadow of the ASDA Garthdee double-deck carpark, poor old "codename JannieJumbo" is intimidated by a bunch of teenagers driving Aberdeen Car Vauxhall Corsa reg. SW04TTU. They pulse-rev the engine in frustration as they follow him through a pestestrian refuge width-restricted section of carriageway on Aberdeen's Bankhead Road in Bucksburn. Then, as poor "codename JannieJumbo" moves out for parked vehicles, they roar past intimidatingly close.



Which of course raises the perennial question:

"Was he wearing a cycle helmet?"

Stupid Keep Left Sign? Just Ignore It like H11YOU did!

One of the great things about living today with the thrilling unrolling of Mr Cameron's "Big Society" is the self-empowerment it grants to the citizens of our fine country.

The drivers of Aberdeen Cars are taking full advantage of this rolling-back of the state by awarding themselves the power to ignore traffic signs and restrictions which they don't agree with.

Who is best placed to decide what is appropriate and safe? The driver at street level, or the bureaucrat behind his desk?

Here we see Camilla Parker-Bowles lookalike driver of Aberdeen Car Mitsubushi Shogun reg. H11YOU quite rightly deciding that the Keep Left sign near to Anderson Drive on Aberdeen's Broomhill Road is inappropriately placed. So she just ignores it. What use are pestestrian refuges to her anyway? What use are buses and bus stops? These things and people are just in her way.