Proof Positive That Foreigners Do Not Love Their Children

We all know that in abroad, and in some parts of Britain which are not concerned with the supply of oil and gas, they believe that 'global warming' is causing going to cause a 'bottleneck' which many species will be lucky to get through.

These arrogant people believe that they know best, and advocate birth control, voluntary euthanasia and all sorts of things like that to try to keep the 'damaging' human population down. All very sad and misguided, but not new. We were aware of these people and their activities. We knew all that.

But what we didn't know was this. These people are prepared to sacrifice their children in order to control the population. We have evidence - here, look:

Horrendous, isn't it? This is from the 'cyclestreets.net' website, and the photo is captioned: "Virtually all Dutch children cycle to school every day." Oh The Horror. The carnage must be unbelievable. The number of brain-damaged children in the Netherlands must be beyond count! The Dutch barbarians are prepared to soak their country in the blood of children's head injuries in order to 'save the planet'.

Of course, cycling is far too dangerous to just let children do it independently and in casual clothing. And here in Britain, we love our children, which is why we have every intention of making them safe at all times. If they were to cycle, we would make sure they were supervised and wearing high visibility yellow coats and big bright plastic helmets. This is in stark contrast to the Dutch monsters who let their children cycle about independently without any special equipment whatsoever. Unbelievable!

We believe that special safety equipment is very important and very good for safety at all times which is why we have no hesitation in endorsing these products which are for children to wear ALL THE TIME.

THE 'THUDGUARD'

THE 'OOPSIE'

W237RGE: "This Road is for CARS, Not Perverts".

An intriguing video submission from our undercover agent, embedded deep within the Aberdeen cycling activist advocacy "movement".

In the footage, the driver of Aberdeen Car Landrover Freelander Station Wagon reg. W237RGE makes a full and clear statement of his rights. These include:

1. The exclusive right to the road, which is "for cars".
2. The right to drive at speed directly at the users of other modes of transport who must at all times "give way to a car".
3. The right to drive at any speed, regardless of road conditions.
4. The right to indignantly dismiss the safety concerns of users of non-car modes of transport.
5. The right to suspect anyone who is not in a car of being a predatory sex-pervert, and to accuse them of such.

It is of no consequence that the Land Reform Scotland Act of 2003 granted a statutory right of responsible access to paths like these throughout Scotland. It matters not a jot that this track is a local-council designated and waymarked outdoor access "Core Path" for pedestrians, cyclists and horse-riders. It is not apposite that this road is used daily by cycle-commuters, pupils on their way to and from school, old folk enjoying the outdoors, dog-walkers exercising their pets and teen delinquents on minimotos - about these people we care not a jot.

That a statement of rights so complete, so concise and so correct that we believe it to be comparable in quality and importance to the US Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights should come from the mouth of the driver of an Aberdeen Car fills us with immense pride. Whadda guy!

Enjoy:

Message to Kids: Walking or Cycling puts you in hospital.

Advice for children from the Department for Transport via deep-cover agents at Manchester Cycling.

The implication of all the clever games and multimedia stuff on the DfT website is clear: Walking and cycling are very unusual and highly dangerous activities which require an advanced level of planning and special (possibly costly) safety equipment. Until you are old enough to drive and get yourself a nice car you're on your own and liable to be severely injured. Under no circumstances must you do anything to get in the way of or impede the progress of the important drivers of cars. If you do, you will be hospitalised, maybe killed. FACT. It will be your own fault. END OF. So you should get mum to drive you to and from school, visits to friends, trips to the shops, everything - it's just easier, it's definitely safer!

If you do survive long enough to get a driving license, then you'll have carte blanche to drive inattentively and at speed in the presence of children, it will be your right; that is the normal way of things.

"Tell your friends about these kids' sticky ends!"

Yes indeed, if anything, we think the DfT is a little too dovish. Children, and indeed all pestestrians and cyclits NEED to know that if they insist on putting themselves in harms way, then they're liable to be harmed. And then it will be their own fault.

But we're obviously delighted that our message is getting through at last. And we totally approve of the government using fear to programme the anti-walking and -cycling message into young impressionable minds. Advice for children on the site includes the wearing of special items such as reflective vests, bright stickers, flourescent caps and yellow backpacks. We must support the DfT in this, and perhaps suggest that they extend their advice to all pestestrians and cyclits; the adults too who should, after all, be in nice cars. After a while perhaps we can hope to see that this clothing advice is upgraded to mandatory compulsion. Only by putting all these subversive non-motoring elements into this humiliating and clownish uniform will we be able to identify them quickly and easily - to flush them out - when the time comes for their re-education.

 The re-education programme commences here...