Top Tips on Turning Your Motoring Life Eco

As important drivers of nice big Aberdeen Cars, we bet that like us you're sick and tired of being lectured by meanie-greenie treehuggers about carbon emissions.

That's why we were delighted when local aspirational freesheet - the West End Gazette - plopped through the front door this weekend, containing as it did a section on "Top tips on turning your motoring life eco".

The publisher and editor of this free consumer/lifestyle mag, fat larger lady Sue Simpson echoes our above sentiment and says:

"There are some eco-warriors out there who believe that the humble automobile is the devil on wheels. But in recent years, car manufacturers have worked hard to change the car's planet-killing image..."

Her "Going Green" article then details some super tips on eco-driving like:

• Think aerodynamic! Drive with the windows up, and remove stuff like roof-racks when you're not using them;
• A clean car might be a pretty car, but do you need to do it every week? If you must make your 'pride and joy' the sparkling envy of all who see it, use a bucket and sponge to clean the car, rather than a hose. Even better, use "Miracle Drywash";
• Try "green" cleaning products;
• Use the SatNav to avoid getting lost, which wastes fuel;
• Take the golf-clubs out of the boot;
• Service the car at home so you can be sure to take used fluids, bulbs, other bits and bobs to the proper specific recycling centre.

As corpulent big boned Ms. Simpson says:

"[these] are ways you can cut your carbon footprint - and it doesn't have to mean walking!" 

Well thank Ford for that! We certainly wouldn't want to walk anywhere. Ever. Not ever ever ever ever ever. That would be the very opposite of progress. We're still waiting for drive-in banking to arrive in Aberdeen "City and Shire", but no - no, we're stuck with online banking.

The one criticism we have about obese cuddly Sue's Top Tips is that they manage to conflate material recycling and chemical toxicity with carbon emissions. Now, it's clear that she's done this with the best of intentions, to dilute any possible danger of scaremongering about the onrushing climate catastrophe. But, hasn't she heared? Global Warming will be GOOD for Scotland!

Deception!

Haha! We have to admit it, we got caught out, we fell for it hook line and sinker! Do you remember when we wrote about our local council insulting us all by telling us to "just leave the car at home" when Xmas shopping. We wrote stuff like:

The retail sector in Aberdeen "City and Shire" has designed itself around mass-motoring. Our huge city-centre carparks servicing the huge city-centre indoor shopping malls. And, of course, driving about a lot and using lots of petrol supports the oil industry - our major employer. And everyone knows that the retail sector in Aberdeen is one of the key drivers of economic growth - contributing to a real "buzz" in the city providing the vibrancy which will kick-start the economy of the whole country, pulling UK plc out of recession. Not only that, vibrant Aberdeen now has by far the highest house prices in Scotland, and all that economic activity demonstrated by the highly economically active motorists of Aberdeen "City and Shire" as they vibrantly drive about the place helps to keep house prices high, showing the way for the whole of Scotland - what with average house prices in Aberdeen now approaching 20% higher than even Edinburgh!

So, for this Gordon McIntosh to critically undermine the engine of vibrant house-price growth demonstrates beyond any shadow of doubt that he is anti-car, anti-free-market, anti-growth and anti-Aberdeen. But then, what do you expect from a public-sector employee, featherbedded as he is with his gold-plated pension? How dare he presume tell us what to do! If he likes totalitarian communism so much he should move to North Korea, where hardly anyone has a car (coincidence?). Then he'd be happy, wouldn't he?

But now, we take it all back. Because just the other day, citizen contributor 'Ali' clicked the CitizenContribution HotLink (on the right-hand sidebar there) and told us the truth about this scandalous deception in a shocking exposé e-mail:

Dear Mr Skidmark,

I read your recent post with some interest "Just Leave the Car At Home" - Insult from Council

I fear what has happened here is those lazy journalists at the evening express are trying to cause trouble.  If you read the very cleverly worded press release on which the story was based:
http://www.aberdeencity.gov.uk/CouncilNews/ci_cns/pr_traffic_011211.asp

You will see the council does not really mean it - yes there is lots of stuff about the bargain park and ride, but the real truth is towards the bottom of the article where it reveals how many car park spaces and even some impromptu highway code advice.  What more can the motorist wish for? 

The economics speak for themselves, even at the discounted rate, for myself, husband and three children to park and ride costs £6 - this would pay for more than enough time in Union Square parking to do all my shopping and have a coffee!  Aberdeen city council should be recognised for allowing Union Square to charge such low parking charges in an urban area!

I trust you will bring this scandalous reporting to to your readers attention.

Regards
"Ali"

Yes, we fell for it, we actually believed the greenwash and then got all hot under the collar about it. Yes, it looks like the mischivious jouralists at the Press and Journal and Evening Express were looking to stir up trouble. And they got us hook, line and sinker. Yes, we didn't do our research properly. If we had done, we would have seen that our council knows which side its bread's buttered on. As 'Ali' says: "what more can the motorist wish for?"

Thank-you, 'Ali', what indeed?