A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

Tuesday 9 November 2010

An Introduction to PaveParking in Aberdeen

While looking for motorism advocacy allies, we came across the wonderful Bristol Traffic blog, which is full of tips for hard-pressed tax-farmed motorists and is a great inspiration to us. We who fight the war against the war against motorists should take note of the great advocacy and advice which is on offer from Bristol Traffic.

Of particular note to us was a clever little motorist trick we've noticed motorists-in-the-know using round and about here in Aberdeen. On Bristol Traffic they call it "paveparking".

So, in homage to their inspiration, we will too. Only we'll capitalise it and do that thrilling branding thing of partial italicisation and using a capital letter half way through the word. Exciting.


Do you see what we've done? We've put a little 'tm' on there too, just make it a bit more 'corporate', specially for the motorists of Aberdeen who just love everything corporate.

Yes, PaveParking. The beauty of PaveParking, is, of course, that traffic wardens (or those busybody anti-motorist warriors - the "dreaded" community wardens) can't touch you for it: enforcement of footway parking being a police matter, under the “causing danger to other road users” and obstruction provisions of the Road Traffic Act (1988) and the Road Vehicles (Construction and Use) Regulations (1986). However, police usually take the view that they need to observe the vehicle being parked on the footway and then demonstrate that the driver had the intention to obstruct in order to be able to enforce the law. And so in practice it is rarely - if ever! - enforced. Yes, the police know that they've better things to do (like catching actual criminals) than harassing hard-pressed motorists who're just parking cleverly.

PaveParking! It's clever, It's quick, it's convenient, it's free and it's not really all that illegal!

So today - to celebrate the PaveParkers of Aberdeen - we're launching the PaveParker of the Week award - and here's the inaugural winner:

Vauxhall Insignia Diesel Hatchback J800 RDN demonstrates the advanced skill of Full PaveParking; managing to place all four wheels on the pavement of Holburn Street. The location is just beside that new-ish Old Deeside Line footbridge which the road-tax-dodging cyclists, pedestrians and horsey people use to get from goodness-knows-where to goodness-knows-where. We think they're just showing off. God knows what they think they've got to show off about.

By contrast, the clever PaveParker of J800 RDN would be quite within his or her rights to show off - for he or she knows that PaveParking has an important economic benefit in these austerity times. By getting out of the way of other busy important motorists who're busily and importantly going about their lawful business on Her Majesty's highway, the clever PaveParker helps the traffic flow - and as we all know, efficient and swift traffic flow - more cars on more roads - is the only way we can ensure a prosperous future for Aberdeen once the oil runs out.

Also, by keeping the traffic flowing, it cuts down on pollution. That'll keep the greenies (like national disgrace, scoundrel and extremist Cllr. Debra Storr) happy too!

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