A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

Monday 15 November 2010

PaveParker of the Week! OW08 EYU

As everyone knows, most traffic regulations in Aberdeen are advisory only - allowing room for our motivated and enabled motorists to THINK FOR THEMSELVES.

One grey area is the so-called "zig-zags" we can see around those pesky tax-dodger crossings - the dreaded Pelican. But one thing's for sure, even if it is a bit naughty to park on the "zig-zags" (we don't know why it would be?), everyone knows that traffic regulations are not enforced on Sunday, so enabling the advanced Aberdeen driver to do as he pleases. And quite right too! We noticed a fabulous example of just such an empowered Aberdeen Driver yesterday, outside the Holburn Street Co-op.

The exemplary driver of Black BMW 320d SE reg. OW08 EYU displays many aspects of advanced motorism. Firstly - showing that he can THINK FOR HIMSELF - he parks on the so-called "zig-zags". (We don't even know what they're for? What else could their function possibly be?) Secondly, he PaveParks by putting both nearside wheels on the pavement just to show the tax-avoiding unimportant pedestrians that he can and thus establishing and consolidating the proper hierarchy of things. Thirdly, this advanced maneuver is being executed on a Sunday, so - even if there might be 'issues' with parking on the so-called "zig-zags" - nothing bad can happen to the motorist. Fourthly, the motorist demonstrates his advanced knowledge of all the above by flashing his hazard lights (or "exempt" lights, as we prefer to call them). The orange flashing lights draw our attention to his fantastic skill, knowledge and superiority.

And fifthly, the motorist is demonstrating his philanthropic, caring and compassionate side by actually screening the poor pedestrians from the oncoming traffic, thus sheltering them from the extreme danger usually associated with pedestrianism and as everyone can see actually making the crossing all the safer!

For all the above, this driver is is clearly our PaveParker of the week. And soooo much more!

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