The driver of this lovely car (with that extensive parade of numbers and letters in its name, signifying the driver's imporance) has shunned the other parking spaces available across Aberdeen's Abergeldie Road near to Aberdeen's Broomhill Primary School in favour of the opportunity to put his heavy SUV up on the kerb and straddle the double-yellows.
This is selfless. He is running the risk of getting a ticket from the hated wardens, so we applaud his philanthropic willingness to sacrifice a few quid in favour of the greater societal good:
- The location is close to a primary school. Therefore, what few kids there are left walking to and from that school will have to take very extra special care when they try to cross Abergeldie Road. Our PaveParker of the Week's big Audi Q7 obscures the sightlines of both the children trying to cross and of any motor vehicle coming up the road towards them at the tee junction. This will teach the kids an important lesson. Walking to school is a very dangerous activity for losers only. For your own sake get your mum or dad to drive you there. If you're too poor for your mum or dad to have a lovely big safe car to drive you to school in - have you considered wearing a helmet? Have you considered getting social services involved? You should report your parents to them for making you walk.
- By daintily putting his wheels up on the kerb, our selfless PaveParker of the Week is also sending out the message that the pavements are ours too - this is a statement of intent aimed politely and daintily at the few remaining pestestrians on our streets. It's well past time they got themselves a car.
- The driver of this super big Aberdeen Car is PaveParked straddling the double-yellows in a position where he can undertake informal surveillance of his pride and joy without having to get up off of his living-room sofa as he watches TV while eating his takeaway chip supper. This cuts down on crime - what with all the common on-street parking problems these days.
- It is a lovely big car isn't it? That's why the driver of this Aberdeen Car so loves to leave it straddling the double yellows - PaveParked where he can see it from his livingroom. It gives him a warm glow inside. As we already pointed out, in its name, this super big SUV has all those letters and numbers which make the owner's importance quite clear. Firstly, they make the owner's importance quite clear to all those around him, but secondly - and more importantly - they make the owner's importance all the clearer to him himself. This is important, for it builds on his 'cycle of confidence'. As he surveys his importance - displayed outside on the junction, on the pavement, straddling the double-yellows - the driver of this Aberdeen Car has his self-image boosted, his confidence bolstered, his rightful place in the world confirmed. This means that tomorrow - when he goes to work - he will be all the more likely to throw his (not inconsiderable) weight around and demand that his underlings 'perform' to a standard suitable for generating the economic growth which is necessary for Aberdeen "City and Shire" to lead the way in pulling the rest of UK 'plc' out of recession.