Essential Services - SP58YNL

As everyone knows, White Van Man (WVM) is truly the Atlas upon who's shoulders our hopes for economic growth rest. And speaking of rest, this WVM is taking a little well-deserved time out to eat a sandwich and read his newspaper of choice. Le Figaro, it is we think. Probably


Now, in these pressing economic times, we are reminded of Gordon Gekko's famous eighties exhortation: "Lunch is for wimps!". This means, of course, that if the future of economic growth rests on your shoulders, you must not take any time out, ever. So what's going on here? Why is WVM lollygagging around, while the future affluence of Aberdeen "City and Shire" is in jeopardy?

But, don't worry, everything's OK. A little circumspection shows, this WVM is multi-tasking. While enjoying his snack and intellectual stimulation, he has also PaveParked his white van reg. SP58YNL to the fullest possible extent in this location in Aberdeen's Willowbank Mews. This promotes efficient traffic flow, which is the fountainhead of economic growth and prosperity. It also discourages non-contributing pestestrians from venturing out into the urban realm.



Not only that, but his GPH Builder's Merchant sack is also multi-tasking: Firstly it is promoting the company GPH Builder's Merchant (sort-of PaveParkVertising), and secondly it is blocking the dropped kerb. This sends a very important message to wheelchair users, mobility scooter riders, the elderly and to mothers with buggies: you are not economically active, stay indoors, we don't want to see you - leave the outside world to important people. Note that WVM also flashes his hazards (or "exempts") to draw the attention of the economically inactive to this indispensable lesson and his valuable example.

Who'd have thought that WVM could achieve so much while sitting still?!