A blog about cars in Aberdeen.

This is a blog about cars in Aberdeen because most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent creating cycle lanes and the like for freeloading cyclists.

Monday, 6 December 2010

CitizenContribution - "Catch a bus, thanks."

A dangerous cyclist has been brought to our attention via the CitizenContributor hot-link.

An anonymous contributer writes:

Look how far he is in from the kerb... Of course it's a close call.
He should pull a bit in and give himself some space... I bet he is one of these drunken cyclists that wobble everywhere...
I bet, that when he's at a red light he does everything he can not to put any feet on the floor but he never gives me the satisfaction of falling over.
Catch a bus, thanks.
Indeed, anonymous, and thanks for that, we only had to make a few changes for spelling and grammar. And syntax. And comprehension.

Of course the cyclist is using far too much of the taxpayer lane when he pulls out to avoid the large puddle in the gutter, forcing the green Subaru Legacy Estate 2.5 GX reg. W342VHR to pass him so closely. The driver has no choice in the matter. He's busy, he's important, he's hard-pressed. He's GOT to get to ASDA before the cyclist. That's the natural order of things. Cars first, see? I bet.

We haven't read the Highway Code for some years, but we're quite sure that this is a rule in it. And if it isn't it should be, and probably will be now that we have a Tory Government. Cyclists must always and everywhere get out of the way of the important busy hard-pressed motorists who, having paid for the road, have first call on its use. Particularly at ASDA, when in all likelyhood, the VIP motorist is keen to make a premium selection from the "mile-o-meat". I bet. Hm, that's a good point - why would a vegetarian cyclist be going to ASDA anyway? I bet he's an animal rights activist.

Anyway, we agree with our correspondent that the gutter is where cyclists belong, along with the filth, the broken Totov vodka bottles, the used condoms and the heroin-needles which characterise this splendid car-park location in Garthdee. If, indeed, as the correspondent says, cyclists are "drunken", then the gutter is definitely where they belong! I bet.

But we must take issue with our correspondent's assertion that the cyclist should catch a bus. That would justify the continued existence of the much-hated bus-lanes, which everyone knows should be re-assigned for car use immediately. So no, we must disagree with any policy which increases bus use. You slipped up there, anonymous, I bet!

So what should our ASDA-bound cyclist do? Walk? Don't be silly! There's no pavement to take you to ASDA from this Garthdee Road approach. No, of course - once you think about it the solution is obvious - he should conform with the vast majority of Aberdeen folk and drive to ASDA.

Our anonymous correspondent sets a great example, showing what splendid specimens of humanity the drivers of Aberdeen Cars are. And, what's more, he shows just how considerate and polite to lesser road users the drivers of Aberdeen Cars are by signing off his message with the word "thanks".

No, no - thanks are due to you.

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